We experience these comments and responses as an attack, and our threat system in the brain lights up in a very similar way to these verbal threats as it does in response to a physical threat. Most of us have experienced the distress of being blamed for something that isn’t our fault, criticised or put down. So, if I fall over and really hurt myself, do I blame myself, calling myself and idiot? Or, do I metaphorically give myself a hand up, acknowledging the pain I’m feeling and trying to soothe and comfort myself?Ī common observation is that we tend to be more understanding, forgiving andhelpful in response to others’ mistakes than we are towards ourselves when we make the same mistakes. Interestingly within Buddhist philosophy the second arrow is oftendescribed as the more dangerous one. The first of them is the misfortune itself, but the second ‘arrow’ is our reaction to what has happened, the thoughts and feelings that go on within us. In this parable it is said that when we suffer misfortune two arrows can strike us. The Buddhist parable of the second arrow can help us make sense of suffering and how to manage it. To these difficulties makes a big difference to how much we suffer However, we will all face losses and disappointments, and despite our best efforts and intentions, we will make mistakes and bad decisions. Life can be very challenging and at times feel a bit like an obstacle course. Everyone’s journey through life is unique and the relative fortune and misfortune is certainly not evenly shared out. When we present with an open and upright posture and establish eye contact, people are more likely to ascribe positive qualities to us and engage with us in a positive manner. People often pay more attention to how we communicate through our facial expression and body posture, than what This is important as increased cortisol makes us more stress reactive and reduced testosterone makes us feel lessĪn upright and open body posture can conversely reduce our cortisol level and increase testosterone, focusing our mind and giving us the confidence to deal with challenges more proactively and skillfully. Some studies have shown that this ‘low power pose’ can increase cortisol and reduce testosterone. However, if your mood is low, and you feel vulnerable, ashamed or anxious, you may have noticed that your body seems to shrink and close off, with your head turning down and avoiding eye contact. When you feel confident and energetic, you may a have a more upright, open body posture, head up high and comfortably looking people into their eyes. You may have noticed that your mood and body posture are somehow connected. Try to take these feelings with you into your day Now see if you can concentrate on the area above your head (above your mind) without thinking. Put your hand back on your lap and spend a few moments concentrating on this sense of freedom within you. Now place your right hand on the top of your head, palm down. Spend a few moments with the sensation of love within you. As you breath see if you can feel this love within you. Say to yourself “I am love”, “I love and respect myself”. Now move your hand to the centre of your chest. Spend a few moments with the sensation of peace within you. See if you can feel the silence and peace of this moment. Now take your right hand and place it on the centre of your stomach. Spend a couple of minutes getting used to this slow breathing. Breathe deeply and slowly as in the breathing exercise above. Sit comfortably with your hands palm up on your lap. Whilst our lives can be complicated and difficult it is important to remember to focus on the positive things that it is possible for us to be and feel. Meditation has been around for thousands of years and can be a good way to start to build a healthy ‘inside’ life.
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